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"Oh...Mr. President! What may I do for
you?" asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure says the Saint. "But first you have to
confess
your sins. What bad things have you done in
your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried
marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope-smoking'
because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate
extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery'
because, I didn't have full 'sexual relations.'
And I made some statements that were misleading
but legally accurate you can't call it 'bearing false witness'
because, as far as I know,it didn't meet the legal
standard of perjury."
With that St. Peter consults the Book of Life
briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send
you somewhere hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be
there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.'
And when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon
all hope', just don't hold your breath waiting for
it to freeze over."

Subject: $500 in your bank account tomorrow!

Bills Coming In?

** Car Repairs
** Medical Bills
** Rental and Utility Deposits
** Phone Disconnected

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