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An elderly member breezed into his golfclub late one afternoon
while there were still a number of golfers in the lounge. He slapped
$50 down on the bar and said, "Drinks all round, bartender, if you
please."

The golfers accepted readily, so the old gent pushed the change
across the bar and said, "Let's have another round, bartender."
While the party was consuming the second round, the bartender
came back and said, "Tell me, sir. You don't come into the club
these days, yet here you are, shouting for the bar. What's the
celebration?"

"Well," replied the old member, "as you know, I'm a retired army
major of 75, and tomorrow I'm being married to a delightful young
lass of 19, the daughter of an old army colleague of mine. So I
have reason to celebrate. Let's have another round."

So they did, and eventually the major staggered off home. Some
time later, the major reappeared at the club, produced a $100 and
repeated the performance. After the second round, the same
bartender said to him, "Major, I remember last time you came in
and shouted because you were being married the next day. So
what's the celebration for this time?"

"Well, my boy, this morning my wife gave birth to a fine bouncing
baby boy. So again I'm celebrating. Another round please." While
this round was being served, an experienced golfer, with a good
memory for scores, came over and said, "Major, I overheard your
conversation, and I was here last time you were celebrating your
impending marriage. Wasn't that only seven months ago?"

"Yes," said the major, "and that's what I'm so delighted about - two
under par, on a strange course, with concealed holes, using two
old balls and an old club with a whippy shaft."