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Man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some
cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it
closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending
machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and
starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and
one thing leads to another and they end up in her
apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its
3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to
kill me. He takes his shoes outside and rubs them
in the grass, then proceeds home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is
pretty pissed. "Where the hell have you been?!?!"

"Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you
asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to
use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick
there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to
another and I ended up in bed with her."

She sees his shoes are covered with grass and...
"You God damn liar!!! You went golfing again!!!" 

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