A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand
in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when
you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too,
has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a
drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes,
I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with
mence, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll put you both in
jail for contempt!