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A pirate was talking to a guy in a bar. The
guy noticed that, like any self-respecting
pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one
of his hands, and a patch over one eye. The
guy just had to find out how the pirate got in
such bad shape. He asked the pirate, "How did you
loose your leg?"

The pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the
coast of Jamaica!" His new acquaintance was still
curious so he asked, "What about you hand. Did you
lose it at the same time?"

"No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off
the Florida Keys." Finally, the land-lubber asked, "I
notice you also have an eye patch. How did you lose
your eye?"

The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach
when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me
eye." The land-lubber asked: "How could a little
seagull crap make you loose your eye?"

The pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me
hook!"